Do You Believe You're Missing Out?

It’s a strange feeling, looking back. Sitting here now, in the park right by the water, feeling the slight breeze, the sun, the shade, the stones, even the mist if I try hard enough, that thought occurred to me. Strange describes it perfectly. Strange to think I once thought I was better. Strange how easily that illusion was shattered, falling down like a house of glass cards, crumbling into a million different pieces too far gone to even offer the slightest bit of hope. Strange to picture this time one year ago. Just strange.

So I’m sitting here, the absurdness of it all coming down on me hard, and there is this goose that keeps floating back and forth in front of me. I seem to be taking in all the little meaningless detail and missing the big picture. Wish I could see it. Filter out the static and see from a distance. But my eyes are like magnifying lenses and all I can focus on are the little things, everything else is blurred and upside-down. Wish I could see clearly as well. See the whole you, not just the details I’m left with to piece together like some fucked up, gothic version of a Picasso.